Twenty-Five and Social Media

Oh look, the baby is wearing headphones!

Even prior to getting pregnant I always found it fairly unsettling how most children I know now have a social media presence well before they’ve even exited the womb. Frankly, my pre-pregnant self looked at many an ultrasound photo and found the experience to be fairly invasive. I know that my focus should be on the growing mass of cells inside your womb, but I’m also looking at your uterus, girl, and that’s a little closer than I ever expected or wanted to get.

Other than me not really wanting to get that intimate with another woman’s innards, I also kind of felt as if those moments ought to be private. I know most of the people reading are now thinking, “But, I have a lot of friends and family on Facebook that would be difficult to access otherwise,” and I understand—I do too, but ultimately getting them to give up their email addresses or phone numbers really wasn’t that difficult. Instead of posting photos to my entire friends list and having Facebook own images of my child for all eternity, I have chosen to send out email updates to those who have opted-in—so to speak.

Sure, it is probably slightly more challenging than sending out a mass Facebook blast, but it helped me respect the friends like myself who really aren’t interested in my innards and also helped me respect my child until he or she at least has the capacity to make a decision. I also really like the idea of not having Facebook own images of my child with which they can make a profit—and I’m pretty sure that he or she is going to be so awesome that they would totally try to.

Ironically, I broke the news to my friends and family via Facebook. Some seemed slightly disappointed, but the response was mainly positive. Surprisingly, no one really asked why. Perhaps my friends are similar to me and don’t want to get acquainted in that way, or maybe they understand the implicit reasoning behind why social media presence at an early age might be detrimental, but I was shocked that no one in my family had asked. The only other reasonable explanation for the lack of questioning that I can think of is that the way that I had worded the post made the decision seem final. Here is a copy of the text from the post:

Dear Friends and Family,

For numerous reasons and after lengthy discussion, Richard and I have decided to not post ultrasound or birth/infancy photos on Facebook.

I understand that some of you may still be interested on receiving these updates. If that is the case please contact me with your phone # and/or email so I can make sure you are included. Thank you for understanding and respecting our wishes.

To be honest, the only person that asked us about the Facebook post was Richard’s mother. She was concerned about our safety due to an ongoing issue at my place of business at the time, but her questioning made me chuckle a bit, because it seems fairly difficult for many of the people that I have encountered to imagine a world in which one may not have a social media presence almost from—essentially—the moment of conception.

Honestly, I think the world would probably be a better place if we didn’t have such an attachment to social media—probably sounds odd coming from someone blogging intimate details about their life, but I have talked to Richard several times about how much more potential there is to really mess things up for yourself as a teen or pre-teen with social media savvy. You hear stories of young ladies who commit suicide because photos of her end up on the internet, and I think they’re forced into choices that people of their age do not have the cognitive ability to make. I’d hate to think of the things I would have done with more social media access or what would have happened had some of my former high school flames been only slightly more idiotic.

Maybe all of this makes me old-fashioned or outdated, but something about the social media situation tells me that not allowing my child to participate in it immediately upon entry into the world—or for that matter, being—is ultimately the right decision for Richard, Myself, and our child.